Meditation Cafe: Care, Detachment & Disassociation

I’ve moved! Lily Pearl is now back at the very first marina I was moored at when she was dropped into the water 4.5 years ago! We have come full circle and it seems the perfect place from which to sell her.

I’ve been taking care of some aesthetic maintenance which I’d intended to do this year whether I sold the boat or not. I want Lily Pearls new guardians, when they arrive, to fall in love with and be able to relax into her, for living on a boat requires maintenance at some point.

Lily Pearl has taught me a lot about maintenance and I think it has become a lost art from my generation (70’s baby me!) onwards, in our increasingly fast paced, throw away world.

Maintenance is an act of Love and Care. Lily Pearl has taught me that. Relationships require maintenance too, just like the inevitable rust that will appear on a metal vessel floating on water, unspoken emotions erode away eventually at our relationships, whether that be with our intimate partners or friends. Maintenance help us to not fall into patterns of disassociation or unhealthy detachment in our relationships.

In Meditation and Spiritual practices there is a lot of talk about detachment, yet there is a trap here of it becoming unhealthy or falling into disassociation. Having lived much of my life in a disassociated state, I’d like to share how I experience the difference between the two.

I remember whilst on my Monk training, people sharing in our meetings and being very pleased with themselves proclaiming they didn’t “care”. I found this rather odd and wondering if it was just the “ego” pretending it didn’t care to trick the host into believing it was getting somewhere. I’ve since found out I have the gate of caring in my Human Design and why it is inconceivable for me to imagine a world where people don’t care!

I also recall my teacher saying that the more Present we become the more we’d feel, not less. Yet when people expressed to feeling deeply it was kind of seen by the majority as a problem. Confusing for many.

I settled in a place where I aspire to not care about other peoples thoughts and opinions (an ongoing practice!), after all, they are made of the same mindstuff as my own thoughts. Yet to still deeply care for people and the world. Feelings are not a “problem” or “wrong”. We just don’t want to get stuck in them.

Dictionary definitions:

Disassociation

noun

1. Dissociation. 
2. A state in which some integrated part of a person’s life becomes separated from the rest of the personality and functions independently. 
3. The state of being unconnected in memory or imagination.

Detachment 

noun

1. The act or process of disconnecting or detaching; separation. 
2. The state of being separate or detached. 
3. Indifference to or remoteness from the concerns of others; aloofness. “preserved a chilly detachment in his relations with the family.”

I find it interesting that the dictionary definition of detachment also hints at a state of uncaring and both use the word separation. If this is our collective definition of detachment then I propose that isn’t the correct word to use in relation to the state we enter into in Meditation (specifically referring to the awareness of Silence type Meditation) being Oneness.

Yes we detach from our thoughts, that is correct and yet that expansion is not linear from one point to another. That would be a kind of disassociation. Duality and our current language is linear which I see as being the main challenge for those trying to move from a sense of separation to Unity or Oneness.

Remember our purpose in Meditation is to become more Present and alert, more loving and more caring. Less affected by the world, yes, and still very much a part of it. My experience is more of a moving outward in all directions, not from A to B. Or in this sigil of The Sun below you could say point A is the thoughts at the centre and point B is the circle, not a point on the circle, that includes everything within it.

This sigil too, looks like an eye. This is how we truly See. The whole. We see beyond our thoughts to the reality of what is before us, not just what we project onto reality. As I’m typing I’m aware I have places to go and people to see before Meditation Cafe tonight. This is more the beginnings of a deeper contemplation that I’m sure I will come back to to explore some more. I’m not proclaiming I know anything. Just sharing my observations and my own cosmic explorations and experiences as I travel along this journey of life.

In a way thats the point. That there is no fixed point outside of the Silence. To See the bigger picture, to behold what is arising and falling in the centre with Love, without holding on to it.

So where in your life are you disassociating, pretending you don’t care about something when you really do? What uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are you avoiding? What difficult conversations need to be had? Have you lost touch with the power of Love within you?

I like to imagine a stone (a thought or opinion) being thrown into a puddle where it makes a big splash (lots of drama) or the ocean (where it makes barely a ripple). We are expanding our awareness to become like ocean. Sometimes the ocean becomes a tsunami.

Let go of what you think “waking up” should look. This is all mind. Know there is a power within you that can weather the hardest of hardships. The human Spirit is resilient and more so when it’s powered by Love, not cut off from it.

So here we are back to Love and how to maintain our awareness of it. Meditation is maintenance. Meditation is an act of Love. Meditation can be a portal to experiencing more Love.

Poems related this blog.. Beyond.. Wake Up.. The Beloved

If your mind needs some long overdue maintenance and you’d like to join us for some Heart centred Meditation, here’s the registration link for tonights Meditation Cafe Monday 20th May at 7.30pm if you’d like to join in:

https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0vcOGtqDkiHdfT-whsLYdPZPRnvb6-Ms4f

No previous experience necessary. An open mind and willingness Heart is helpful.

Meditation Cafe is part of The Silent Revolution and is free by default. If you’d like to “Buy Me A Coffee” in the Cafe or express your Gratitude with a donation, you can do so here:

http://paypal.me/thebendywitch