Expectation can veil our Presence if we are not aware of its function. In the not Self mode of experiencing we can, often unconsciously, expect that the future will be the same as the past, for better or for worse. We may also have expectations of a potential to be fulfilled without seeing the actual reality we are presented with, which often involves someone or thing other than ourselves changing in order that the potential be fulfilled. We can become attached to a specific potential outcome and miss red flags.
These sorts of expectations can limit us as we use the negative expectations as an excuse not to try, as a “What’s the point” attitude takes root, or we may use our positive expectations of a potential to not leave an unhealthy situation, “but he/she/they/it (the situation) has so much potential!”. We lose the ability to see what is actually here now.
Past expectations can create filters that seek a match, they seek old evidence in new situations, so we can proclaim, “See! I knew that would happen”, when the reality is that we are in a completely different time, different environment with different people with the potential of different outcome. What is the same is inside us, the filter.
How do we unlock that potential of creating different outcomes? In the words of my late Grandad, Charlie White, (which came after he passed through a Medium!) we need to “clean our windows!” We need to wipe away the filters, to truly see what is beyond them.
It is good to become aware of these filters, especially in the case of trauma where they can appear a little sticky as the bodymind is doing it’s best to prevent us from experiencing an action replay. Meditation helps us to See more clearly as Presence dissolves these filters and past patterns of behaviour naturally, yet most people don’t realise that in the dissolving there may be discomfort as we come face to face with the Truth of a situation and suppressed emotions.
As mentioned in previous blogs we may need to seek external support in the form of a psychologist or therapist. We do what we need to do in any moment to See. Sometimes we need a clear and impartial mirror, an external field of unconditional Love, to witness what has gone before, that we may finally be able to move beyond. Meditation and therapy do not have to be an either or situation.
The more I play and observe my own patterns, I see the connection between these three strands, how they can either support or hinder each other! Unfulfilled expectation, attachment to outcomes and the inability create a potential that can be clearly seen are at the roots of most suffering.
Discomfort of facing the Truth though is not suffering, or it doesn’t have to be. It’s the key turning in the lock that opens us up to make space for different outcomes and new ways of Seeing. We can learn to meet this discomfort with excitement, knowing that fresh experiences are waiting for us on the other side.
Does all this mean we shouldn’t expect things, or see potentials? Of course not. It is highly likely expectation, attachment and yearning for potentials will arise in our experience again and again, and we will do well to expect the best.
Non-attachment, especially to outcomes and the Yogic Yama “Aparigraha”, of which one interpretation is non-grasping, is a way to play with changing our relationship to expectation, although if misunderstood, the latter itself can become a problem. If not entered into with awareness it can take us into a place of disassociation and what has been termed, “Spiritual bypassing”. Non-attachment doesn’t = non Compassion, non care or nonchalance.
Practiced within the field of Love, Aparigraha can set us and everyone around us free.
If you’d like to explore Aparigraha and changing your relationship with expectation, attachment and potential through Meditation, please join us tonight for Meditation Cafe at 7.30pm. You can register here:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZYoduqgrTMvG9w4hpaa0Tigc-7SeA318hgA
Meditation Cafe is free by default. If you’d like to “Buy Me A Coffee” in the Cafe or make a donation, you can do so here:
http://paypal.me/thebendywitch
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The Bendy Witch 
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