I’d like for you to contemplate for a minute how you show up in the world. Are you a living, breathing question, looking to the outside world for validation or are you a statement of Presence, carrying a deep knowing of who you truly are at your core?
Are you putting out, by your actions and words, a question, “Am I lovable?” or is the strength of your Presence making a wordless statement, “I AM Lovable”.
I really invite you to sit with this. To observe yourself throughout this next fews days, as February 14th, the day of Love, descends. This is the day where if you’re asking the question, “Am I lovable?”, you might not get the answer you want, as your own expectations (that you wrote yourself) of what “proves” that you are loveable are shattered by other peoples lack of awareness that you need a specific set of actions to know.
Even if you think easily, “Of course I am lovable” (which is absolutely true), is that your reality at a deeper level. Does your nervous system agree? Are you easily devastated and doubting when a Beloved doesn’t follow the script you are writing for them to prove to yourself that you are indeed loveable?
Seeking love on the outside isn’t a bad thing and it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t embrace romantic Love when it drifts our way, however if we are to truly Love and to be Loved, we must acknowledge our own insecurities, admit our own neuroses and meet them with the same Love we desire.
This is Self Love. It is not vain, it is not narcissistic, it doesn’t need you to look or be a certain way for you to Love yourSelf. It is rooted in pure Compassion for the Human experience and the complexity of Human emotion. To Love yourSelf begins with forgiving yourself for all the self violent and unloving thoughts you inflict upon your nervous systems daily.
If love is a one way street, at some point you’ll reach a dead end. Giving love to get love, giving love to prove we are loveable is an exhausting game not based in reality. Does Love itself require approval?
Having the thought, “I AM Lovable” isn’t enough. It’s not like you say it once and suddenly at an embodied level you believe it and behave as such. You may have had many messages throughout your life indicating otherwise, especially if you’ve been bullied, ridiculed, publicly shamed, abused physically or verbally, which has been my experience.
When I was learning to teach the Love Ascension Attitude, during my 6 months Monk training in Spain, as I contemplated this Attitude, this “am I a question or a statement” was the realisation I had. That was 9 years ago and just the beginning of my Self Mastery journey towards embodying these statements of “I AM Love” and “I AM Lovable”.
It’s been a messy 9 years! I’d left a very unhealthy relationship, attempted to “try” to be “Unconditional Love” by getting back into it whilst still not really believing I was lovable, (so not really being Love) though I was saying those words, then jumped out of that frying pan into another fire, although this time, Love was being tempered with many moments of Presence, the statement constantly being tested and tempered in Loves fire! More boundaries grew, less tolerance of unloving behaviour, the realisation that Self Love would not allow me to stay in unhealthy, only mutually supportive relationships.
There’s been a few other dances along the way, as you may have guessed through some of my poems these last years, all leading to a more stable embodiment of that statement, “I AM Lovable.’
“I AM Lovable” is a practice of Self Love until it becomes real. Until there is no doubt. When I say this, I really mean there is no longer belief in your doubts when they arise.
One of my teachers Dr Robert Holden, wrote a great book called Loveability. When I notice that I’m doubting my Loveliness, I listen (I have the audio version) and remember to meet these not loving thoughts with my own Presence of Love. Robert encourages us to give up the search for Love and to practice being more Loving, to others and to ourSelves.
May you come to know yourSelf as Love. May you be innocent as to what Love truly is beyond all the projections and expectations and ideals of what you’ve been conditioned to believe. May this Love become the foundation for all your Loving relationships, romantic and otherwise.
Our Self enquiry and Heart Words tonight will be directed towards experiencing this Love within that emanates from awareness of Self, that which is beyond your thoughts and ideals. Meditation practice can anchor us more deeply in the Presence of Love. We may drift away from it from time to time, but once Love has our awareness, she will always pull us back. That is my experience anyway.
Here’s the registration link for tonights Meditation Cafe Monday 12th January at 7.30pm if you’d like to join us:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZMkcuGqqj8qHdOboHWd2GIT1auT79dRgvnY
Meditation Cafe is free by default. If you’d like to “Buy Me A Coffee” in the Cafe to express your Gratitude, or make a donation, you can do so here:
http://paypal.me/thebendywitch
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The Bendy Witch 