You may or may not have noticed that there wasn’t a blog post last Monday. There was however, a Meditation Cafe, albeit we kept dropping out and connecting back in again on the marina wifi. I made the executive decision to rest my body and brain, not write after a series of challenges that started a few weeks ago.
The first debilitating challenge was a face-plant whilst carrying heavy bags to the van, putting my body into shock and taking an arm out of action for a week. Not long after I was nearly gonged without warning out of my body (there’s worse ways to go lol) which discombobulated me for nearly two weeks more. Gongs carry powerful vibrations of creation and destruction!
Saturday before last, I’d packed up my trolley with all my stuff for Saturday Night @The OM, when a mystical wind warlord picked it up and emptied the whole lot into the waters next to my boat, submerging my notepads with content for my set, some of my favourite crystals to adorn the stage area, my modem, my iPad (which I also had the content for my set), my purse, my phone and my keys.
It was one of those surreal moments where everything slows down and there’s a realisation that you are so not in control. I observed my conscious awareness in observation, and the disparity between my already sensorily overloaded body that was like, “Enough! We are going into shutdown!” and my ego mind which was like, “No not yet! The show must go on!”. I surrendered to the observer, as Brian (my brain) being very quick thinking in a crisis started to fire up into action. Maybe he’s bored and is creating all this drama so he can feel useful!
My small bag with purse and phone, fortunately was retrieved quickly with my foot. Purse was soaked through but miraculously the phone was not wet. I call Ch’Lu, my star of the show, whom I was en-route to collect from the train station, to say she’d need to make her way to the OM studio. I managed to pluck the trolley out as it had landed on it’s front so not far to reach down to grab the back of the frame.
Some neighbours walked by and asked if I was ok as I was starting to strip off to jump in to retrieve the other heavy bag full of everything else that was way out of reach and sinking deeper and deeper before my very eyes.
“Have you got a boat hook?” enquired the man. “YES!” I replied.
All boaters a have a boat hook for pushing away weeds and debri and other boats! I lept on the roof, grabbed it and we could just see the pink and beige handle of my bag through the murky waters, to which I managed to hook it and carefully pull up.
While the nice man went to grab his magnet so we could attempt to retrieve my keys which had somehow not fallen forward but backwards between the tiny gap of boat and pontoon, I emptied out the bag, which also had my meditation shawl, a change of clothes (all soaked through), my make-up (completely destroyed except for my mascara). I laid everything out to dry in the sun.
Nice man came back with his super duper powerful magnet and retrieved my keys. His nice wife did a good job of being a calming presence and gave me a floating key ring of which I normally have one attached but for some reason unremembered (probably because mine is huge and therefore can’t fit keys in my pocket) had removed!
It was such a warm beautiful day so if I had needed to get in the mucky marina waters that was at least a bonus! All my crystals were retrieved. The only things not retrieved, I realised later, were two Ikea lanterns.
Thankfully key worked in van. The show went on, although not with material as expected but with some profound very in the moment revelations. I am always amazed how this body responds when I open to Grace and allow myself to become the sacred flute.
My star guest stayed over for the weekend. We had a lovely time catching up but by Monday my body was in “F*ck you, we are resting now whether you like it or not” mode. I slept most of the day. Modem and iPad had rice baths which did nothing to resuscitate them, hence attempting the dodgy connection to marina wifi. Sadly both have been laid to rest in the technology graveyard. I remember thinking that the dipping in and out of wifi is like the process of Ascension.
The participants of last weeks Meditation Cafe, were blissfully unaffected by the dropping out, symbolising our conscious awareness. The laptop connection just like our unconscious mind drifting off, then consciousness realising and choosing to come back to presence. The next day I headed off to the phone shop and the blessing was a new modem at no upfront cost as part of my contract with £10 reduction in monthly cost!
Over this last month, lots of things on many levels that I thought were becoming a stable part of my life and therefore determining the trajectory of my decisions have fallen away, yet I trust the process. I trust that what leaves was not for me in the first place. I trust that the Universe is showing me through these challenges and in the mirror of others, where I’m at by how I react or respond. I want you to read that last sentence again.
One thing I’ve observed, when we are the threshold of a big leap, is that there’s an intensity of pressure as what has been previously diffused is squeezed into alignment. Like a big zit that is about to erupt, there’s a necessary discomfort, just at the point of build up which reveals the contrast of relief when it finally does. The puss, (toxins being removed) is akin to the unripe and sometimes rotten fruits of our old unhelpful patterns and choices, all being squeezed out at once!
Here is the choice point. Rejoice in relief, clean up the puss, make a new choice to stop imbibing toxins in whatever form and move on with renewed zest and clarity or collect it in a jar and make face mask out of it while focusing on the hole, picking at it, and filling it with more toxins as quickly as possible.
There are times of struggle. There are times of rest. All are part of life journey. Don’t get stuck in trying to heal everything all at once and miss the beautiful moments in-between. Learning not to struggle when my body wants to rest is an ongoing practice for me. The “just get on with it” culture is burning many out. The pressure is building up. At some point this universal zit is going to erupt and it’s going to be beautifully messy.
When it does, maybe, just maybe, we can collectively welcome the invitation to remember how to rest without guilt, to move through our lives resting in conscious awareness so rest isn’t an either or situation and something our body has to force ourselves into, giving us no choice. Until then, let us trust in the process of dipping in and out of conscious awareness. That each time something new is being healed and revealed.
Here’s the zoom registration link for tonights Meditation Cafe, Monday 21st April 2025, 7.30pm. Please join us as we explore how Heart Words Meditation and Self Enquiry can support us to trust in the process of whatever is unravelling in our lives, even when it appears challenging.
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/VssqmjATSfipoWKNaI90rA
To receive these Meditation Cafe blogs with zoom registration links directly to your inbox, please subscribe here:
No previous experience necessary to join us, an open mind and willing Heart is helpful. You can find the weekly registration links, read about any potential contraindications (especially read if you’re struggling with your mental health or experiencing any kind of trauma) and other things you need to be aware of, on the Meditation Cafe page . If you have any concerns, please contact me beforehand to discuss whether this Meditation practice is for you, or how we might adapt the practice to support you.
Meditation Cafe is part of The Silent Revolution and is free by default. Money will not be an obstacle to you learning Meditation. If you’d sincerely feel called to express you Gratitude and support me in this work with monetary exchange, you can “Buy Me A Coffee” in the Cafe, pay for the tuition received (the going rate is between £5 – £8 for similar online classes) you can make donation here:
http://paypal.me/thebendywitch
If you enjoy or resonate with anything in these blogs and poems please like, share with friends and use comments to share any thoughts provoked, contemplations on the topic or your own experiences of Meditation. Liking, sharing and commenting really helps me to know what I’m posting is relevant and helpful to you, my audience 🙏🏼
The Bendy Witch 
1 thought on “Meditation Cafe: Trust In The Process”