I had the opportunity to listen to one of my Meditation teachers, Narain, share his Wisdom at the weekend. He said that over all his years of teaching Meditation, he observed in himself and others, the thing that caused the most suffering was us not accepting reality as it is. I concur.
Whether it be our health, wealth, love life, relationship to self, relationship to others, circumstances we’d rather not find ourselves in, unexpected curveballs at inconvenient time (like a trolley full of stuff falling in the river!) life has a way of showing us what we are in denial of, where we hold on too tight, where we habitually give ourselves away to the external. Acceptance of what is, is always the first step away from suffering.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu
If we have chosen a “Spiritual” path, what we have really chosen, consciously or not, is a desire to be free from suffering, yet the mind confuses suffering with what’s happening to us. As we progress along this path, hopefully at some point we realise that our perceived suffering is more often than not generated by our own denial of what is.
That’s not to say that shit will never happen again. It’s a worthy contemplation though to perceive the effects of what happens if we stop perceiving our more unwelcome and uncomfortable emotions, such as grief and sadness, as suffering.
What happens if we welcome them at the actual times they arise with as much Love as we can muster? What happens if we stop trying to pretend that we know what we’re doing when we really don’t (and letting that be okay)? What happens when we stop trying to control everyone and everything in our world? What happens when we admit that in this moment we are not happy with a person, place or circumstance?
Denial makes us blind to what is actually here. In acceptance (that we are in denial!), we can see again beyond our blinding fears, of judgement, of change, of rejection, of inadequacy, of loss, of living, of dying. I’m sure you can insert many more words here.
Denial and judgement are intrinsically intertwined. Often our denial is avoiding a judgement we don’t want to have or avoiding the feelings generated by a judgement of another, which may or may not be what we think.
Denial stops us from feeling the sometimes necessary shame which can mature us. It stops us from being ruthlessly honest with ourselves that actually, we may have been out of order, we may have acted selfishly, we may have an agenda. These repressions and shadows, if left unchecked become the demons that break up perfectly good relationships, turn love into loathing and destroy organisations.
Our self enquiry tonight is around where in our life we are in denial, if we dare to be honest about it. We practice non-judgement of the judgements that naturally arise as we engage with life. We learn through the process to eat humble pie when necessary. In our practice we can turn denial into forgiveness, fear into courage, lies into authenticity, naivety into discernment, we return to the truth which leads us to acceptance and from this place of honesty we can begin again.
Here’s the zoom registration link for tonights Meditation Cafe, Monday 12th May 2025, 7.30pm. Please join us as we explore the themes of denial that causes suffering and how we can move into acceptation through our practice.
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/VUIR7d2_TaWDLj7ogK-X-Q
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No previous experience necessary to join us, an open mind and willing Heart is helpful. You can find the weekly registration links, read about any potential contraindications (especially read if you’re struggling with your mental health or experiencing any kind of trauma) and other things you need to be aware of, on the Meditation Cafe page . If you have any concerns, please contact me beforehand to discuss whether this Meditation practice is for you, or how we might adapt the practice to support you.
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The Bendy Witch 