I’m writing a book. I have a deadline for the proposal. True to ADHD predictability, it’s been a ADHD paralysis time warp city, “f*ck where did the last three months go”, last minute dot com, deadline approaching faster than a bullet train kind of week.
Pressure has significantly built now, enough to create a burst of dopamine and mild panic (a bit too mild to be honest), for words to start flowing. Also true to ADHD style, not just one book is trying to flow through (so not helpful Brian), so I’m writing one book whilst taking notes for another!
Who is Brian you ask? Brian is what I lovingly call my brain. You see the A and the I got mixed up somewhere along the way, hence all the sensory challenges I face daily that I can’t just switch off. Brian fortunately has developed a great sense of humour about this, although sometimes his humour, only other Brians get. You’ll have to wait to find out more about the adventures of Brian in Book 2!
Book 1 is a pocket guide to accompany The Silent Revolution of which I aim to complete the proposal this week. It’s time to get awareness of it out to more people and for “me” to get out of its way. It seems like this last few months I’ve been faced with every fear, every doubt, every old ache and pain resurfaced and more van troubles. Kali van (seriously considering changing name to Trinity Transit) now has a new alternator. It’s like I’m rebuilding her part by part!
All this chaos tells me I am at the precipice of a big shift and all I need to do is keep putting my hand on my Heart and taking one step after another, to trust that the ground will appear because it always does.
There’s been plenty of opportunities to say f*ck it. Old demons arising, taunting what’s the point, who are you to to write this? Especially as the publisher to which I’m submitting a proposal, specifically said that they would advise us (us being persons on a course by said publisher) against submitting a book on Meditation because then we will be pitching ourself amongst the likes of Gurus like Deepak Chopra and Prema Chodan.
Cue ADHD:
“F*ck Deepak Chopra” (not literally and no offence Deepak 🙈)
All I know is when I sit down with people, in person or online, when we put our hands on our Hearts and practice deep listening to what’s really important, Magick happens, eyes light up, sometimes the whole frickin’ room lights up and Love prevails. That has to have some value in this world (and I’m not talking monetary). If you hadn’t noticed this world needs more Love right now, not more philosophies and traditions and statistics and lofty idealised word salads that no-one can digest and costs you a few thousand bucks for the privilege.
The Silent Revolution is simple. All you need is a hand and a Heart and an open mind, the latter being the challenge for most. To be honest you don’t even need a hand. You do though need to stop, to make time to sit down, to shut up and listen your Heart.
I’ve been dangled carrots of every potential distraction this last few weeks that revealed in me some deep rooted fears about myself seeking the light of my own Love. This most certainly awakened my Muse (SHE knows just how to get my juices flowing lol). The gate opened with Haiku cascading from the heavens, waters are gushing from a well so deep that I don’t know what’s coming until it arrives.
It’s coming with an intensity and a passion that I’ve always known to be down there somewhere, and to be honest have been a little afraid of, as I’m faced with this raw creative power and the question of how honest will I be? Where is the line between vulnerability and boundary? I’m not gonna lie, it’s scary.
It’s scary because what’s coming is calling me out, not just to meet my own bullshit with Love and Compassion (I’m a pro at that now through much trial and error) but to meet and call out, with that same Love and Compassion, the bullshit of the world. I’m called to come out of my cave, to speak up and speak out, to be radically honest about the way I see and experience the world and not hide from the Truth of that.
I’m called out to be visible in a world that I still find to this day immensely sensorily overwhelming, as I write from my Heart to yours, knowing wholeheartedly for all of us, that we are all so much more than the contents of our mind and the state of our body.
My own Heart Words practice has served me well these few weeks. The seeds of the Heart Words tree are starting to spread and take root in the Hearts of others, as I hear on the wind how others are connecting into the Heartwood of this tree of life that it is supporting their own rooting and ripening.
Attempt at keeping blog short has utterly failed and book proposal time clock is on the count down. That panic has just gone up notch. Yay! Other Brians will understand 😉
If you’d like to stay updated on my progress, please subscribe to this blog. Publishers like big emails lists and big social media followings of which I’m currently lacking. Hence the call to be more visible!
Here’s the zoom registration link for tonights Meditation Cafe, Monday 3rd March 2025, 7.30pm, Join us as we explore overcoming our fears, through Self Enquiry and Heart Words Meditation practice.
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/R6MMIHKtT9qChzmSZF5afw
Please Note: I’m unsure as of now if there’ll be Meditation Cafe on 10th and 17th March as I will be in France volunteering at Les Contes and also scoping it out for a potential The Silent Revolution in-person retreat. If I am unable to to offer live classes on these dates, I’ll record one in advance and share in the Telegram group, so regulars can keep momentum. There are previous weeks recordings on there too.
Please check out the following if you’d like to experience in-person Heart Words practice…
April 18-20th 2025 – I’ll be offering in-person Heart Words Meditation at Roots To Freedom Conscious Gathering in the beautiful Welsh countryside at Coed Hills Rural Art Space, Vale of Glamorgan. Join us for 3 days of music, movement, yoga, meditation, ceremonies & fireside jams Book here.
11-16th July 2025 – Keep an eye out for the first Silence & Sound Retreat – 6 days retreat in on the Plan-It Earth land in Sacred, Cornwall. I’ll be sharing Meditation, Silence & Yoga, with my dear friend Lyndz who’ll be offering Sound healing throughout.
We are very excited for this collaboration and for this very first in person The Silent Revolution retreat! Expect lots of nature time, eyes closed & eyes open meditation in the Silence, movement, sound and nourishing grub. Contact me to be notified when bookings go live.
To receive these Meditation Cafe blogs with zoom registration links directly to your inbox and stay updated on events, please subscribe here:
No previous experience necessary to join us, an open mind and willing Heart is helpful. You can find the weekly registration links, read about any potential contraindications (especially read if you’re struggling with your mental health or experiencing any kind of trauma) and other things you need to be aware of, on the Meditation Cafe page . If you have any concerns, please contact me beforehand to discuss whether this Meditation practice is for you, or how we might adapt the practice to support you.
Meditation Cafe is part of The Silent Revolution and is free by default. Money will not be an obstacle to you learning Meditation. If you’d sincerely feel called to express you Gratitude and support me in this work with monetary exchange, you can “Buy Me A Coffee” in the Cafe, pay for the tuition received (the going rate is between £5 – £8 for similar online classes) you can make donation here:
http://paypal.me/thebendywitch
If you enjoy or resonate with anything in these blogs and poems please like, share with friends and use comments to share any thoughts provoked, contemplations on the topic or your own experiences of Meditation. Liking, sharing and commenting really helps me to know what I’m posting is relevant and helpful to you, my audience 🙏🏼
The Bendy Witch 
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