Meditation Cafe: I Nearly Cancelled

It’s been a bit of a day. It rained all day yesterday and there were heavy downpours in the night. For those that don’t know, I live much of the time on my boat on a river. I thought my ropes were loose enough to adjust to the rising river but this morning when I checked them they were so tight, at one end I couldn’t untie it and the boat was beginning to very slightly lilt.

I prayed to the river and the sylphs for no more rain. Had the river risen any more, the boat would have started to tip or the rope snapped! I couldn’t loosen the rope. It was so tight I couldn’t release the loop I’d made round the cleat on the boat. The only place I have to tie up to is the scaffolding underneath my NOT floating pontoon and there’s a tyre round the scaffolding that had floated up and jammed the rope too. I couldn’t get to it and the rope had been chaffing on the deck. I was lucky I didn’t wake up floating down the river!

I had to cut the rope.

Fortunately I had a spare. I’ve now, with help of a neighbour tied to something on land I’m probably not supposed to tie to. The rope at the other end of my boat is also chaffing and still tied under the pontoon. It’s far from ideal.

There’s holes in my decking too. Big ones. And the decking gets very slippy this time of year. Last year when the the river rose high I slipped stepping down off the boat and ended up with a hole in my leg. My lovely Mum bought me a rubber mat so hopefully we won’t have an action replay this year!

Today I’ve been feeling very vulnerable. I’ve tried to have conversations about this situation in the past to no avail. I have more difficult conversations ahead and maybe big decisions to make. As beautiful as it is here, my safety has to be a priority.

It would have been so easy to cancel tonight. My whole day has been a wipe out. Honestly I’m tired. I’m grumpy. I’m still recovering physically from a lurgy. This was not the day I planned or needed (say the chunterings of my mind) and yet it is exactly what I need to push me to do something about things that I know aren’t right and need attention. Yes it will pass and no I will not bypass it and pretend there is no problem that needs addressing.

No matter how much we Meditate, shit still happens. Life throws us challenges, we all have blind spots. Yet in this moment, right now the boat is secure (hopefully, lol) and as much as I would love to go hide under my weighted blanket (I can still do that afterwards hehe), I know that closing my eyes for half an hour with other supportive, caring, loving beings, is absolutely the best thing I can do. When I talk about prioritising your Peace, this is exactly what I mean and this is exactly why I’m not cancelling.

Join me tonight for some Honest self enquiry and Heart Words Meditation. If you’ve had a shit or challenging day too, lets let the dust settle together, remind ourselves there is more than our fears (even if they are very justified!) and that Love and cOMmUNITY carries us through. Here’s the registration link:

https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZwudOGtqTkoHdGdGWhzE2Ealhc7KT9DsiAE

Meditation Cafe is free by default. If you’d like to “Buy Me A Coffee” in the Cafe to express your Gratitude, or make a donation, you can do so here:

http://paypal.me/thebendywitch

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