The World Health Organisation states that “The effect of social isolation and loneliness on mortality is comparable to that of other well-established risk factors such as smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.”
I personally am no stranger to depression and the feeling of loneliness. It is a feeling that has been prevalent throughout much of my life and I’m still aware of its presence. I have to be especially vigilant of what I do with it at this time of year. Ironically I know I am not alone with this.
Events like last week (see blog Meditation Cafe: I Nearly Cancelled) are perfect triggers to bring up this old and persistent friend. That may seem a strange expression and yet one thing I’ve learned is that if I welcome even my most painful emotions, as if they are my friends needing a hug, they move on much more quickly. For me, Meditating is like giving my loneliness a hug.
I am very aware that my loneliness arises from my personal identity’s need for external connection not being met. I don’t ever want to sound terse by saying, “We are never alone”, which is true from a Spiritual perspective AND YET we are still Human Beings in physical bodies in need of real physical connection. We are not designed to be completely disconnected from our “tribe”, yet we need to find ways in which we can thrive in it, ironically for some this may mean finding ways to experience healthy solitude.
The conundrum for me as a non-neurotypical, naturally introverted being, is that I find socialising extremely tiring, even when I’m having a good time with people I love! I actually now, like my own company, a side effect of Meditation, and yet my body still yearns for (the right kind of) physical connection. My sensory issues are helped immensely by my body being squeezed very tightly in a big bear hug! I am very aware too much solitude is not healthy.
When challenging situations arise like last week, or when I’m struggling physically with my health, the reality that I’m living on my own in a remote place triggers these old wounds of loneliness, despite me for the most of it, enjoying solitude.
I know these days that it is important for me to reach out to my community. In the past these feelings of loneliness have downward spiralled me into deep depressions. I have been in many a relationship and still felt lonely.
I am learning to be more honest, to let myself be held sometimes instead of me trying to do all the holding. Last week I felt that. The love and care and energetic support I felt from this little growing community was tangible even through a screen!
I love that this little growing community gets it! We are not striving for a “perfect” enlightened state, simply to be real and honest and support ourselves and each other to keep choosing the present moment. And it’s beautiful. This connection created on Monday nights is proving beneficial to, not just myself, but those that show up, whether that is weekly or they just pop in now and again.
This is last minute again but if you are around (like now!), join us tonight for some Heartfelt Self Enquiry and genuine Connection, first with ourSelves, then with others. Let us give those sticky emotions an internal hug! Here’s the registration link:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZMkdeCpqzktHtP9EwGO3Xh5aBLPYKBD0Y20
Meditation Cafe is free by default. If you’d like to “Buy Me A Coffee” in the Cafe to express your Gratitude, or make a donation, you can do so here:
http://paypal.me/thebendywitch
If you’d like to receive these registration links weekly, straight to you inbox, please subscribe to this blog. Alternatively you can always find the weekly registration links on the page The Silent Revolution.
Here’s some links to support you if you are experiencing loneliness:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/loneliness
The Bendy Witch 
Hello Raye
so sorry, I’ve literally just opened both this week’s and last week’s emails … so sorry you had such a terrible experience with the swollen river, it must have been terrifying. I hope you’ve managed to get your landlords to be more reasonable, and you feel more secure in your home. And yes, I can understand how that can bring worries and anxiety back to you. I’m glad you have had a lot of support, you have so many people who really care about you, and I count myself in that group. You’re always there for us, and if there’s anything I can ever do to help, let me know. Life is hard some times, I know that it’s possible to be lonely even when you’re surrounded by people, I feel like that quite often. So, I’m sending you a really big hug
xRuth
Thank you so much Ruth, all hugs gratefully received! Sending you much love and hugs too 🤗💕x
Hi Rachael, I very much related to your comment :
The conundrum for me as a non-neurotypical, naturally introverted being, is that I find socialising extremely tiring, even when I’m having a good time with people I love.
Hope to reconnect with you maybe in your meditation cafe.
Very best wishes for this colder, dark time of the year.
Geraldine Crowther (a former yoga student from Wootton/Box End & the granary)
Yes I remember you Geraldine. Would lovely to see you in Meditation Cafe in the new year 🥰