This morning, I got called to a particular dance on the Movement Medicine hub of which I am a member. A shout out here for Ya’Acov and Susannah Darling Kahn for creating such a beautiful container and Community. You can check it out here.
I am realising how important Conscious movement is for this particular body (well I’m sure most bodies!) and I love the spontaneity of the Movement Medicine practice compared to the fixed shapes of Yoga Asana. Both have a place in my practice and serve me in different ways.
The dance I chose this morning was titled “The Power of Celebration”. As I listened to Susannah’s keynote, her parting words resonated deeply within me and moved me to tears:
How can we celebrate when there is so much to mourn. Yet I could ask you, how can we not celebrate when life itself is so precious. It is an absolute Miracle.
Susannah darling kahn
Susannah talked about those times of outpourings of sadness, where there’s almost always a lightness that follows, a lightening of the Spirit and natural sense of Joy that arises effortlessly, like the Sun coming out after the rain. I know this to be true, as I’m sure many of you reading do too, yet left to our own devices it’s easy to forget. Enter the power of Community.
I’ve noticed throughout my own path, the place where many Spiritual seekers seeking the “Light” get confused and downright stuck, is in this fear of allowing grief, anger, shame. To hold on to it, deny it, pretend it’s not there. To not let it be fully felt and witnessed by even themselves, let alone the wider community. I have been in a community that appeared, somewhere along the path, to have taken a wrong turn, resulting in some of that community shaming others for releasing their grief and doing what they needed to release trauma from their nervous system. This is the main reason why I left.
Ideology can easily to distort reality when the meaning of esoteric theories such as, “Life isn’t real” isn’t backed up with context, such as what we project onto the present moment through our fears and past experiences isn’t real in this moment, though it may still feel very real to a body that has in the past been abused and is trying to stay safe.
If this phrase is taken literally, you can see how easy it could be to end up inadvertently judging others who are still in a place where the world does indeed seem very real. To become holier than thou, to not see that particular belief implies, “If life isn’t real then nor is your grief”.
I’m more inclined to support that which is appearing as Life in its multitude of expressions. We have to be careful to not belittle this experience we call Life, yet not take it so seriously we lose all Joy and Reverence for it. To me, as it is to Susannah, Life is a Miracle. It deserves our Appreciation, our Gratitude, our Love and our Compassion, which ironically were the core tenets of Path on which I walked and these core tenets of the teaching, of which I took vows to uphold, still resonate deeply at my core.
Susannah touched on the difference between indigenous cultures, where grieving is encouraged and supported by the whole community and how in the West we have forgotten how to grieve. My personal journey is a testament to this, for years hiding in shame, having panic attacks in public loos, reappearing as if nothing was wrong, as if grief and tears are unnatural and I should somehow be beyond it, that to show ones sensitivity to this unnaturally loud, artificially lit, over stimulating, predominantly dysfunctional society, is seen as a weakness. And yes the Light is beyond our grief, just maybe it’s in the opposite direction to which most of us think; towards the grief instead of away from it. This quote comes to mind,
It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
krishnamurti
Grief and shame from not fitting into the “norm”, obscures the Light that we naturally are. If grief has taken hold, it’s there, no matter how much of a fake smile we choose to wear. It’s important to seek out people and community that can witness our pain without judgement, that can represent the Universal field of Love in that moment, that become clear mirrors to remind us that Love is still within our Heart because that is what we are made of. We begin to align with that which lives within us, not what societal expectations dictate.
Presence speaks far louder than words. It allows space for a person outpouring their grief to feel safe, witnessed and held, for however long it takes to dissolve the pain. Silence invites the Light within to reveal to us what is real and what is needed. With practice we become inner directed instead of outer directed, guided by the voice of Wisdom that lives in our Heart. And still, at times, we will need external support to help us function in a dysfunctional society. We need actual Compassion for ourselves and others, not always the ruthless kind.
These days I steer clear of those who are determined to not see beyond what appears to them to be fragile and broken and that have their own strong opinions of what I should and should not be doing, with their very limited vision of what the totality of my life and internal experiences looks like beyond what they think they see.
The great news is, no matter how contracted and distorted our body has become from not listening within and conforming to outside, overbearing powers that attempt to claim authority and apply a pressure that may not have our best interests at Heart, we can, with the Love and support of good friends and community, safely release, forgive, unravel, be held, so that as the the thunder and lightening claps and the clouds and storms pass, the Light within us shines again naturally to reveal brighter days to come.
In Meditation we have the opportunity to witness these clouds and storms, to feel uncomfortable feelings such as grief and shame, without having to act on them, which also doesn’t mean that we don’t act at all; as the Light within us becomes stronger, we become more Natural. This Light acts as a boundary, a buffer. It allows us to see more clearly, to respond in the moment with more discernment, more Wisdom, more healthy assertiveness and more Love of the integral not idealised kind.
The most powerful way to bring more Love and Light into this world is not in denial of what you may have been conditioned to hide. It’s never too late to learn to cry, lest you become petrified. I mean really cry like an indigenous Grandmother that knows she is part of something bigger than her grief. Learn to be honest about own your struggles and if you are not around people that it is safe to express to, declare your desire to the Universe to find the people that can take your hands, look into your eyes with the gaze of Universal Love and reflect to you, remind you of the Light that you Naturally are.
Emptying out your grief and shame is not always comfortable. It is also not something that happens once and it’s done, where after there are no more storms ever. Look at Nature. Storms come, storms go. Clouds cover the sun. The sun shines. More clouds. More Storms. More Sun. All is Nature. All is Natural. Including the weather within you.
Welcome it all, knowing as you grieve, the inner Sun as the Light within, is already there, shining beyond it all.
You might like to check out my poems Leviathan and Butterfly around grieving, Sacred Land and Wonderful Day for remembering Life is indeed a Miracle.
If you’d like to join us tonight, Monday 15th July 2024, 7.30pm for Meditation Cafe, to find ways to naturally keep emptying you cup of stress and grief, so it’s less overwhelming, and to allow that Light within you some shine time, please register here:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZwpduutqTwvGNaT4wm5RWjDe3nSXWEZXr2r
No previous experience necessary. An open mind and willing Heart is helpful. Please read the contraindications on the Meditation Cafe page if you are struggling with your mental health or experiencing any trauma and contact me beforehand if necessary.
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The Bendy Witch 