If you listen very carefully, there’s a voice inside your head that you associate as “you”. Once you become aware of this “you” voice, it becomes much easier to witness it and on days when it’s not seeing the world through a rose tinted lens, to not let it pull you down an abyss of downward spiralling thoughts that you might otherwise miss before you end up in the pit of despair.
I’m sure you know very well the place of which I speak. Sometimes the descent is slow, insidious, little unhelpful thoughts that we follow over a long time and we might wonder, “How the f did I end up here?”. Other thoughts are like jumping on helter skelters, on the tail of anxious frenzy we suddenly find ourselves there with a thud.
I can tell you this voice is very sneaky. Maybe not intentionally sneaky, maybe definitely intentionally sneaky if you have self sabotaging patterns at play, but sneaky in the sense that it’s so intrinsically tied up in your identity that you don’t even realise the way in which it moulds your reactions and experiences. You don’t, for the majority, even register it as a series of thoughts.
Many thoughts are like smoke coming out of a chimney stack. Have you ever considered that what you think are your thoughts might not be “yours” at all? What if they are simply life attempting to reconcile itself within a construct that is currently not actually in support of it.
I’m not of the belief that we need to obliterate the root of this voice, from which what we call the “ego” arises. Why? Because it appears to me as more of a mechanism in our design that for the majority we are using incorrectly. That which professes to want to destroy ego is also the ego. It’s a never ending loop that is easy to get stuck in.
My Shamanic teacher proposed to us that it is more sensible to “mature” the ego. If ego is identity, then this becomes more about identifying with what is true and not what is not true. It becomes about evolution of the SOUL, about growth and expansion. Who knows… Maybe the spelling of ego will one day evolve into evo..
How might we begin this journey back to SOUL living? Maybe by allowing the Wisdom of the Heart to guide our sense of identity towards more discerning thoughts, more loving thoughts, towards the application of Wisdom in ones life, to the full expression of our SOUL’s light, towards critical thinking that stops us from being manipulated by those that might benefit from us having no identity at all.
Are you a living, loving, passionate, sovereign BEing or a hollow vessel waiting for someone else to tell you how to live? What if your Soul were “allowed” to be the driver of your body vehicle? What if you stopped needing permission to speak, to Love, to exist?
What if the mind is not designed to think up answers to seeming problems but to ask more intelligent questions? What question gives you the answer that you want? From this place we are starting with vision, which begs the question, what kind of world do you really want to live in? What kind of world are your actions and the thoughts you are currently following creating? Are the inner and the outer aligned?
The answers to these self enquiries are not generated by the mind, though it may come up with many excuses and reasons why you aren’t able to live how you want, to avoid uncomfortable feelings, to avoid forgiveness, to avoid compassion, avoid that niggling fear that you haven’t got it in you to make the changes you need to make a difference. You absolutely have.
Did I mention in the Human Design system I have the channel of “the thinker”. This ongoing exploration and Self enquiry appears intrinsically woven into my design! In my younger years I was a chronic over thinker and worrier. Changing my relationship with thinking and thoughts the Meditation practices has been nothing short of life changing.
Human Beings in this era are subjected to so many means of distraction, so much covert manipulation, so much unseen energies messing with our bodymind coherence, electrical, rf, emf interference, so much temptation to give up long term satisfaction for short term, instant gratification.
I see many distortions forming in new age Spiritual philosophies and old school Spiritual traditions alike. The old saying, “Keep your wits about you” comes to mind and indeed that is what we are doing here, becoming familiar with our “WIT”ness. This state of inner witness is not passive. It opens the door to allow you to show up wholeheartedly, authentically, as the Wise Soul that your are, even if you don’t fully realise this yet!
One thing is for sure, as we embark on this journey of seeing with Truth which is not always comfortable or palatable, we must learn to meet ourselves with Compassion. This is a long game, not a quick fix. It can be challenging yes, AND it can also be fun, it can be BEaUtiful, it can be downright f*cking hilarious when you see the ridiculousness of what you grab onto and why.
To be Human is to also be Divine. Your Soul is the indistinguishable spark of Divine Wisdom that lives within your Heart, that inner silent voice waiting to be heard, to be welcomed back into this world, to behold (not hold on to) what we call “ego” in Compassion, dissolving it into the most powerful and sometimes fierce force for good on the planet. Universal Love.
You might like to check out a poem I wrote called Little Self Know Who You Are.
Here’s the zoom registration link for tonights Meditation Cafe, Monday 6th January 2025, 7.30pm, Join us as we explore witnessing the sneaky thoughts that appear as our “own” voice through Self Enquiry and Heart Words Meditation practice.
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/-3dC-Io7RgOFhUeQONTlxg
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No previous experience necessary to join us, an open mind and willing Heart is helpful. You can find the weekly registration links, read about any potential contraindications (especially read if you’re struggling with your mental health or experiencing any kind of trauma) and other things you need to be aware of, on the Meditation Cafe page . If you have any concerns, please contact me beforehand to discuss whether this Meditation practice is for you, or how we might adapt the practice to support you.
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The Bendy Witch 