I close my eyes for Meditation to practice resting in the Silence.
It does not have to be silent outside for me to rest in the Silence within me.
In my eyes closed Meditation practice I am silent, meaning I’m not talking outwardly with my voice.
Inwardly, if there’s a lot of stress in my nervous system, there may be a lot of movement, noise, voices, images, sensations, songs, past memory, future fantasy, sometimes even fragrance permeating the Silence, sometimes it all goes quiet and the Silence gets very loud.
Sometimes the experience is Blissful and sometimes it’s f*cking uncomfortable, mostly it’s a steady state of Loving awareness that is gently welcoming of both the awareness of movement (whatever that looks like) and the awareness stillness.
Sometimes it’s Bliss that carries me away from this moment and discomfort that makes me more alert and Present to it, sometimes it’s the other way around.
It matters not whether my eyes closed experience is “noisy”, “busy”, “peaceful” or “still”.
It matters not whether my mind likes or dislikes the content of the movement.
In the time I have my eyes closed, all movement, whether labelled good or bad, comfortable or uncomfortable, blissful or boring, is just movement.
It’s all the same.
If there’s repressed emotion arising that’s seeking to find Freedom, whether joyful or painful, I welcome it in the internal Silence that is revealed as a Loving Presence.
Externally this may look like crying, sobbing, giggling, making primal sounds to keep the energy moving.
I let myself feel emotion.
I don’t need to avoid it or repress it, or shame myself for having it (although sometimes I’m aware of this happening). I don’t need to be afraid of uncomfortable emotions or try to hold on to a particular, more desirable, more comfortable state.
If I welcome my emotions within this field of Loving Presence that is my Conscious Awareness, mostly it moves very quickly. Sometimes it’s sticky and that’s ok. This Loving Presence, made of Love and Wisdom, appears to be Compassionate.
I welcome and enjoy desirable thoughts and feelings while they are there, I welcome and forgive any undesirable thoughts and feelings, knowing that whatever is arising will change.
If something arising is sticky, I may ask for help.
I may need a different perspective to help it move through. I may need support with past trauma. I may need help in the process of beginning to forgive the unforgivable, for my own physical and mental health.
When I need help I know this Loving Presence is still there because it is in me. Even if it appears far away, I’ve learnt to Trust that it’s there, to know it is guiding me to people, places and situations to help me See clearly if only I will listen.
That which is dissolving is lies. That which is dissolving is fear….
False Evidence Appearing Real
Sometimes fear is there to keep me safe. Wisdom helps me discern the difference. I don’t always listen.
That which is dissolving is self violence, self judgement, others opinions, judgment of others, conditioning, inherited beliefs from my family and friends, peer pressure, societal programming, learnt behaviour that does not serve me and is not in alignment with my own Soul. This is not always comfortable.
All is arising in this Loving Presence of Silence and all is dissolving back into it. Sometimes I forget this. Every time I do the Silence pings me back.
The Silence isn’t an either/or situation. The Silence I speak of in Meditation is not the absence of sound. The Silence is always there, beholding ALL whether I’m aware of it or not.
Sometimes Meditation feels easy and sometimes not so, yet the practice itself, the mechanics of Meditation are ALWAYS EASY, even if the movement of my mind makes it appear otherwise.
I close my eyes to rest in Silence daily to transcend the bullshit and continual bombardment of internal and external erroneous data that obscures my vision of reality, not to transcend the Earth and the reality of what is actually happening Now.
I close my eyes so that when I open them again, I’m more Present and less defensive, more Loving and less afraid, more Truthful and less worried about what others think.
I close my my eyes and rest in Silence, not so I can become disconnected from the World but so I can speak more loudly in it, with more Discernment and more Clarity, with more Loving Presence and awareness of Wisdom that wishes to be expressed in any given moment.
Sometimes no words are needed.
Sometimes the Presence of Silence itself is more powerful than any words. This is not the same as remaining silent when there’s no Presence only fear of the Truth and the consequences of expressing it.
Sometimes when words emanate from the Silence, the Truth will (metaphorically speaking) cut off your head. If you’re wise, you’ll give your head willingly. This is Meditation.
With practice Meditation brings Freedom from internal chatter and external mind control. It creates space for the voice of Wisdom and the Truth of your Soul to be expressed.
I hear a lot of shaming of “transcendental” practices lately, the assumption that for everyone they lead to an apathetic, passive, non-involvement, even denial of this World, and yet I have seen many fall into this belief of trying to deny what is happening.
Maybe this is just a poor (or one) interpretation of the teachings. That is not my experience. Mine is quite the opposite despite much resistance.
I’m not Meditating to escape this World only to dis-create the illusory world imprinted on it made by my own and others fears and projections.
I Meditate so I can say what I need to say and do what I need to do without shame or guilt and to conversely see clearly where I need to make amends, own my own shit (to dis-create the effects of it), so I can show up more Consciously and play my part in this unfolding World story.
Resting in Silence doesn’t mean not speaking up.
Speak with the power of Silence beholding you (unless you discern it is unsafe to do so) and you may just find that you can move mountains with your words.
Please give your practice time to work it’s Magick, time for your Confidence, Courage and Resilience to grow.
Please don’t let discomfort or the belief that Meditation should look a certain way, it should be this or that, get in the way of your practice.
Please also don’t get stuck in only rose tinted ideals, expectations and expressions of Love.
You might like to check out these poems… Shadows is about being vigilant with not holding onto or believing in those self violent and self limiting thoughts and beliefs.
The Beloved that attempts to put into words my first experiences of meeting the Silence, though since writing it my experience of Love has changed somewhat. Love has many faces and some of them are fierce..
Meet Kali Ma whom arrived after a vision during long hours of Meditation, where I literally gave Kali my head!
Tonights Self Enquiry and Heart Words will be directed towards exploring what Silence is beyond the absence of sound and growing your awareness of it, changing your relationship with your minds natural movements so they are less problematic to your practice, also recognising and speaking with your Hearts Wisdom.
Here’s the registration link for tonights Meditation Cafe Monday 19th January at 7.30pm if you’d like to join us. No previous experience necessary. An open mind and willingness to try is helpful:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0tf-ispjgqGND89sJfuq0GBLuna1mYus5_
Meditation Cafe is free by default. If you’d like to “Buy Me A Coffee” in the Cafe to express your Gratitude, or make a donation, you can do so here:
http://paypal.me/thebendywitch
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The Bendy Witch 