Jeremy Clarkson I admire your wit
Although sometimes you can be a bit of git
The ultimate bloke to which many aspire
As you play with your toys and set them on fire
It really must be a boys dream come true
To drive lamborghini’s and get paid for it too
Which is all very nice but do you realise
The nations women’s woeful cries
As their husbands would rather stare at your face
With a beer in their hand proclaiming “Top Gear is ace”
And don’t get me wrong, I’m inclined to agree
But every night it seems you’re on the TV
Killing any chance of a bit of romance
As our hubbys’ engage in ensorcelled bro’mance
I can’t tell you how many times I have seen
Series 18, episode 10 on the screen
And now I’M having dreams about being the Star
That does a lap in the very reasonably priced car!
So I’m speaking on behalf of all Top Gear widows
That are severely neglected because of your shows
And begging that you remind our men
To look up from the TV just now again
Maybe engage in some real conversation
To indulge us in a little elation
And that if they focused a bit less on tyres and traction
They might even get a little more action!
I really think it’s the least you can do
With divorce rates increasing as a result of you
Children are crying out for their
Daddy’s attention
Your screen presence creating a bone of contention
I’d hate to see you get mobbed or lynched
By angry wives with stilettos whose husbands you’ve pinched
They won’t listen to us but they’ll listen to you
So pretty please give us Top Gear widows some credit in series twenty two!
©The Bendy Witch
The Bendy Witch 