In many spiritual spaces there can be an unspoken message that the goal is to:
- Rise above feelings,
- Transcend feelings,
- Detach from feelings,
- Become peaceful enough not to have feelings.
Meanwhile the human body is quietly saying:
“Excuse me, I am literally made of feelings.”
How uncomfortable many of us are with feelings. Not just other people’s feelings, our own too. We live in a world that teaches us to think, analyse, solve, improve, achieve and overcome. Yet very little teaches us how to simply feel.
Sadness arrives and we try to fix it.
Anger arrives and we suppress it.
Fear arrives and we distract ourselves.
Even Joy can feel uncomfortable when we’ve spent a lifetime protecting ourselves from disappointment.
What if our meditation practice is actually an opportunity to learn to welcome all feelings. Too acknowledge their Truth without necessarily having to act upon them. To give them space to breathe and evolve in a safe container of Wisdom as we learn to meet them with Compassion.
Feelings come and go
Waves upon an endless sea
All are welcome here
Haiku by Heyoka
I recently came across the work of psychologist Alice Miller, who wrote extensively about the ways children learn which feelings are welcome and which are not.
Many of us grow up receiving subtle messages that certain emotions are too much, too inconvenient, too dramatic, or too uncomfortable for others, especially if we are neurodivergent with highly sensitive nervous systems.
I remember as a child being acutely aware that my sensitivity and related illnesses were inconvenient to a capitalist society that required my single mother to work three jobs in order to provide for me.
Over time, I learnt to suppress, hide and disconnect from what I was genuinely feeling and to be honest, as an Autistic child, I did not have the language skills to be able to express them, as they did not seem to arrive in the appropriate neurotypical timing!
Many adults, neurodivergent or not, struggle to be present with their emotions. Not because we are incapable of feeling but because we became very skilled, as children, at not feeling.
And yet our feelings do not disappear simply because we ignore them.
They wait patiently to be acknowledged.
Research suggests that suppressing emotions can actually increase stress within the body and place additional demands on the nervous system. Studies have found that allowing ourselves to acknowledge and experience emotions with awareness tends to support greater emotional wellbeing than continually pushing them away.
Interestingly, emotions themselves are often quite temporary, just like our thoughts. It is our resistance to them that frequently keeps them lingering.
Feelings don’t need fixing, they simply need witnessing and Heart Words Meditation is a beautiful practice in which to welcome them.
Self Enquiry
Invitation to grab your journal…
✍🏼 What feeling have I been trying not to feel?
✍🏼 What changes when I welcome my emotions instead of resisting them?
✍🏼 If all of my feelings were welcome, what would they be trying to tell me?
✍🏼 Can I offer myself the same compassion I would offer a dear friend?
Meditation Cafe
In tonights Meditation cafe we’ll be exploring how we meet our authentic feelings that can arise in response to life (and in our Meditation practice)..
We’ll be reminding ourselves that feelings, like thoughts are ok.
👉 Register here.
A space to pause, reflect and experience this together🥰
Meditation Cafe is on Sundays (except bank Holidays) at 8pm on zoom.
👉 Subscribe to my blog below for weekly registration link directly in your inbox.
👉 Recordings of previous Meditation Cafes can be accessed through these groups:
Telegram – Silence Revolution Group – This group is for all things Heart Words Meditation and meditation Cafe, where we also share our experience and our Heart Words.
Whats App – Raye White Community Group – This group is to stay updated on my one to one booking availability, events and offerings (including Meditation Cafe).
Blessed Be, imperfectly perfect Humans 🙏🏼🤗✨
Raye 💫
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