I came across this Self enquiry the other day and it resonated a lot!
“Where can I be small on purpose? Not shrinking in shame. Choosing a quiet life that, from the outside, looks like nothing is happening.”
alice bramhill
I’m always in awe of the synchronicities that reflect outwardly my inner musings. I had been contemplating how “small” my world has become over the last few years, especially this last year, with so much falling away. Friendships, unexpected location changes, it was like the more I “tried” the more I lost and the more exhausted I became.
I notice how my capacity and desire to try to keep up with the demands of the world has basically diminished! I didn’t reach this point willingly. I’ve observed the frustration in myself, of my body and brain needing rest, my “not self” feeling pressured by the universal programming of “striving”, of do more, try harder, and yet I know from previous experience that is the fast road, especially for neurodivergent brains, to burnout.
Striving has become an epidemic. Identities are forged on the validation of how others perceive our levels of productivity. For people like myself that feel the world intensely and whose brains and bodies are constantly working overtime, trying to decode and organise the constant tsunami of sensory stimulus being perceived, at some point we have to learn to set healthy boundaries around to whom and to how much energy we have to give. I am sure this applies to all beings, not just neurodivergent ones.
Identity seeks Striving for validation Maybe less is more
Alice’s self enquiry, to me has been quite a revelation. I notice in consciously choosing small, the internal pressure drops quite dramatically. There is a strange paradox here. From the outside, a life can appear to be getting smaller while internally it is becoming richer.
Less rushing. Less striving. Less trying to become somebody. More noticing. More breathing. More presence. More appreciation for what is already here.
In embracing small, in making the small moments really matter, like the tears of Joy and Gratitude that this morning flowed forth as I opened my hatches to see an abundance of blossoming water lilys, there is in fact a massive expansion of my Spirit.
Interestingly, research suggests that constantly striving for more does not necessarily lead to greater wellbeing. Studies in psychology have found that people who orient their lives around intrinsic values such as connection, personal growth, community, and meaning tend to report greater life satisfaction than those primarily focused on external measures of success, status, or achievement.
Our nervous systems also need periods of rest and recovery. When we continually push beyond our capacity, stress hormones remain elevated and the body has less opportunity to restore balance. This is especially important for highly sensitive and neurodivergent people, whose systems may be processing significantly more sensory and emotional information than they appear to from the outside.
Perhaps choosing small is not giving up on life at all. Perhaps it is creating enough space to actually experience it.
Self Enquiry
✍🏼 Where can I be small on purpose?
✍🏼 What am I saying yes to that my nervous system is quietly saying no to?
✍🏼 What might I discover if I trusted that less could be enough?
✍🏼Whose urgency am I carrying that doesn’t belong to me?
Meditation Cafe
Tonight in Meditation Café we’ll be exploring the theme of Small 🌱✨
This week we’ll be reflecting on overwhelm, boundaries, nervous system capacity, and the surprising expansion that can happen when we consciously choose less.
A space to pause, reflect and experience this together🥰
Meditation Cafe is on Sundays (except bank Holidays) at 8pm on zoom.
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Published by Raye White
Proud Mother, Writer, Written and Spoken Word Poet, Yoga Teaching, Meditating ex Monk, Paddle Boarding, Wake Skating, Ice Skating, Nature loving Bendy Witch! Also... A Shamanic Practitioner... Loves Dragons and Faeries, all things Magickal and most things fluffy (as long as they are not pink and don't growl). Is possibly the incarnation of Alice in Wonderland.
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